As a Latina, I have often found myself in situations where I am expected to conform to this standard of behavior. Non-violent communication has been touted as a way to communicate effectively and avoid conflicts, but the reality is that it can also be a tool for tone policing and silencing Bipoc women.

Bipoc women are often praised for our zest for life and high emotional expression. We are seen as passionate and authentic, but this authenticity is only acceptable as long as we remain within the boundaries set by a patriarchal society. When we express frustration or anger, we are often met with resistance and told to calm down or speak more politely.

This double standard is evident in the way we are expected to change our personality to accommodate white fragility. We are expected to dim our fire and suppress our emotions and assertiveness in order to be more palatable and less threatening to those around us. This not only erases our identity but also perpetuates harmful stereotypes that have been used to justify the oppression of women of color.

Non-violent communication, when used in a way that ignores power dynamics and systemic oppression, can become a way for those using it to silence the voices of activists and women trying to change the systems that oppress us. The focus on avoiding conflict and maintaining harmony can result in a lack of accountability and a failure to address issues of inequality and injustice.

As women of color, we should not have to change who we are to accommodate the expectations of those who uphold oppressive systems. We should be able to express ourselves authentically and assert our rights without fear of retribution. Our emotions and passions should be celebrated, not suppressed, and we should be able to communicate in a way that is true to who we are, rather than conforming to a standard that perpetuates harmful stereotypes and erases our identity.

We should be able to express ourselves authentically and assert our rights without fear of being silenced or tone policed. It's time for us to reclaim our voices and celebrate our authenticity.



Multi-Passionate Latina dedicated to women’s empowerment, slow living, and minimalism, traveling in a Van named Luna.